This is my first post for the Cauldron Blog Project, for which the topic is ‘Resolutions, Habits and New Beginnings.’ It’s also my first ‘A’ post for the Pagan Blog Project 2014. (Yes, I’m doing that again! I might not manage two posts per letter, especially since I’m doing two blog projects at once, but we’ll see…)
I’m very good at saying ‘It’s about the journey, not the destination’. In reality, I’m impatient. I want to get somewhere. I sometimes forget to stop, take stock, and remember that I always am somewhere.
A year ago, I started the Pagan Blog Project 2013 with a moment of contemplation about where I was on the journey, and what had got me there. A year later, inspired by Fier’s Assesssment post, and a similar one by veggiewolf, I thought it was a good time to look at the journey again – and to make some vague resolutions about where it’s going next.
Where am I?
– Before anything else, I’m a Gaelic polytheist. This is as much about traditions as it is about gods – I am working on learning about the traditions of my ancestors, especially as communicated through folklore (which is really all we have left of these traditions). It means honouring the Gaelic gods, the spirits of that tradition (including the Aes Sidhe), and my ancestors themselves.
– I’m a child of Bhearra, and also devoted to several other gods of my ancestors. Working with Bhearra means exploring liminality and chaos, in balance with their opposites. I’m finding this to be hard but worthwhile Work at the moment.
– I don’t know whether I’m a druid. But if I am, I’m an urban druid – in the sense that the things about us that we joke about are sometimes the most true, and I’m always joking about that one.
– I’m taking part in Cat Treadwell‘s druidry course at the moment – it’s exciting, and different from my other Work.
Where was I?
– In 2013 I did the bulk of my ADF Dedicant Path. (I still need to do a lot of the writing up!) It’s been a good path for me, and I hope to continue. I have learnt that I’m not particularly committed to ritual – I’m more about journeying, unstructured meditation, and going out to find my gods in the land – but also that ritual can help me balance the wild side of my spirituality.
– In 2012 I did the OBOD bardic grade. OBOD druidry is very different from ADF druidry, and I’d like to go back and explore it more in the future. Belonging to an OBOD grove allows me to explore new new spiritual ideas, while being focused on celebrating the cycles of the land.
– Before that, I was trying to incorporate Christianity, or at least Gnosticism, into my Pagan path in some way. Increasingly, that hasn’t been working for me, but I want to try again in the future. I might try out some local Unitarian churches that I know are Pagan-friendly. Maybe after I’m done with my research, which requires me to visit (mainstream) churches quite often enough for me…!
Where do I want to go?
– First and most important this year: I need to finish the ADF Dedicant Path, and take my Dedicant Oath. The oath is going to be a struggle for me, for a few reasons. I’m doing it anyway. Whee!
– I was thinking yesterday about my oft-said phrase “I’m as psychic as a brick.” Admittedly, I say it because I find the whole concept of ‘psychic’ a little too woo for me. But words have power, and I’m going to start saying, instead, that I’m an aspiring seer and diviner. That’s going to be a bigger focus for me in 2014. I want to finish my Ogam project, and start the ADF Seers’ Guild study programme (once I’ve finished the Dedicant Path).
– I’m going to embrace chaos in my incredibly order-focused spiritual path. Fewer rules. More things that serve my chaotic, transformative goddess, wherever She takes me.
– Practically speaking, I’m going to be volunteering to share my faith story with young people through the 3FF interfaith organisation, and I want to do other things that explore my path as a teacher in different ways. I had a moment of realisation, last year, that I can influence one person at a time in very positive ways through that vocation. Just because I’m not teaching formally at the moment, it doesn’t mean I stop being a teacher.
– This year and every year, I will walk the branches of the Xartus, exploring both the chaos and cosmos within it, and upholding its pattern for the universe through hospitality and justice. Even if only in the little things.
How do I want to get there?
– Words have power (as the rosc and the geis show).
– Stories are transformative.
– Order and chaos go hand-in-hand.
– I am no longer a beginner.
– Thank you for suffering through this post. Here, have an inspirational spiritual cat picture.