As a teacher, I have to show up anyway.
It doesn’t matter if yesterday was a really, really terrible day. Like, bad beyond the telling of it.
It doesn’t matter if you had one crisis after another. It doesn’t matter if all day long you felt like quitting your PhD and getting on a plane to the mountains. It doesn’t matter if you suffered through a social gathering, got on the wrong bus home, had a very intense autistic meltdown on the traffic island in the middle of the A51, and had to be rescued by your ever long-suffering partner.
It doesn’t matter if the meltdown continued till midnight and you were awake most of the night.
It doesn’t matter if this morning you look like complete crap and feel like it too. It doesn’t matter that you have a migraine that feels like someone is drilling into your skull. It doesn’t matter.
When 9am comes around, and you have a Research Methods class to co-teach, you still go to the classroom. You focus on the students. You ‘pass’ as a bloody good teacher.
And sometimes, in the passing, you become.
Yesterday was a terrible, terrible day. Today wasn’t a whole lot better. I still showed up at Cailleach Bhearra’s altar and made an offering tonight.
Sometimes, in the doing, I become.
Here’s to showing up anyway.