Asking Her why I feel blocked in a particular situation led to: my need for a miracle (the Star), the suggestion that I do a deal with the Devil, the Empress and Emperor side by side (Beara looking the Christian god in the face, hand on hips, going “Is she yours or mine?”), and the Hermit (me, getting in the way of myself). That’s all a pretty good picture of how I’m feeling at the moment.
The above picture shows the Battlestar Galactica tarot deck I’m working on. It’s not finished, but I already adore it. I’m currently working on Wands, which are a difficult suit to start with. Lots of Gaius Baltar, for some reason. I also want to start on a Narnia oracle deck soon. That should be easier: grab the characters, let them speak.
On an entirely different note: I was just discussing April Fools with another person with Asperger’s, on twitter. We agreed that we rather hate it. Tell us something and we’ll believe you. Why wouldn’t we?! Metaphor. I find it difficult.
What I’m reading at the moment: Devoted ed. by Alkistis Dimech (wonderful), When God Talks Back: Understanding the American Evangelical Relationship with God by Tanya Luhrmann (also very good, though I keep forgetting it among all the other things I’m reading), The Poet’s Ogam by John-Paul Patton, Lived Religion: Faith and Practice in Everyday Life by Meredith McGuire (excellent) and The Druid’s Primer by Luke Eastwood (review to follow as soon as I finish it). I want to write more book reviews at this ‘ere blog, so let me know if you’d like me to share my thoughts on any of the above.
In pain and illness news: Things are really quite bad at the moment. I can’t do much with my right arm (too much sitting at the computer typing – what’s a postgrad student to do?) and my lower back is all messed up as usual. I’m pondering how these things relate to embodied spirituality, at the moment. I’m learning so much from my participants, whose bodies frame and contain their spiritual lives much more than mine does.
In other news: Dilly Cat!
This is a shot I took lying on the floor alongside the bed in my office. She likes ‘under the bed’ a lot at the moment. But she’s willing to come out for cuddles when it’s quiet.
*I’m hoping ‘Random thoughts of the day’ posts will be a new series here. You will be hearing more pointless ramblings from my life. Rejoice.
I am not a reconstructionist.
There. I said it. I feel better now, I think.
I was strongly drawn to reconstructionism in the beginning. It seems so academic. (The fact that most academics would find what reconstructionists do rather… inaccurate and confusing, is an entirely different issue.) It seems so clear. Got questions about a deity? The answers are out there, waiting to be uncovered by (usually amateur) archeologists/linguists/folklorists/mythicists.
Except they aren’t. And I feel, increasingly, that this is not a way to do religion or spirituality.
I love looking for clues in the stories of the land. My deities can all be spotted there, or at least, shadows of them – including Baoi (Beara), Dovinia/Duibhne (of the Corca Dhuibhne people), and the Three Sisters (Lasair, Latiaran and Gobnait-who-is-sometimes-Inghean Buidhe-or-sometimes she’s-one-of-the-others-and-sometimes-she’s-Crobh-Derg). But they are, as you can see even when I just try to say their names, not all that easy to pin down. The Three Sisters are deeply rooted in the land around Cork and Kerry, and if you ask the locals about St Latiaran, they will know who you mean, and they will tell you stories about her that you’ve never heard before. But these deities also have precedents across the water and across Ireland. Does that make them any less local? No. It makes them a far bigger mystery than they first seem. The clues are there, but they will slip out of your hands when you try to grasp them. Continue reading
It’s easy to follow the wave of emotion in a crowd. When I’m on a protest march, with the energy all stirred up by the hundreds or thousands of people speaking in one voice with me, then it’s easy to take a stand. No one’s going to push through the crowd to tell me that I’m wrong. I’m safe among allies.
But after the stirring demonstration, after I go home, when I’m all alone and faced with decisions… What do I do then?
What does it mean to change your life in response to the call of a deity? What does it mean to answer a call to change the world for her? Continue reading
I’ve been having a debate with with a friend about politics and voting. (See Cthuludruid’s blog post here.) I’ve been doing my usual reaction to people who yell “Revolution!”, nearly as gleefully as American apocalypse-wishers who hoard food and guns and wait for humanity to return to its true wild ways (only this time with better weapons). Cthuldruid points out to me, elsewhere, that he’s not talking about violent revolution – although that’s primarily what we see, in revolutions throughout history. But even where that’s not what happens, theorising about change feels so useless sometimes.
I get the call at 5pm. Merlin needs to be put to sleep, tonight. I look at my watch and know I will not get there in time. Continue reading
You are the Weaver of fate. Continue reading
30. Any suggestions for others just starting to learn about this deity?
The last question on the 30 Days of Deity Devotion is a tricky one. There is so little written about the Cailleach Bhearra of the Beara Peninsula, specifically. She’s there, in myths and folklore, but you have to look hard. She creeps in, shrouded in disguise, passing for an ordinary old woman. She’s the wife of a druid on an island with a cow. She’s a woman with a lobster in a box. She’s a farmer with a harvest to reap, competing with any man who believes he can reap it faster. She’s an Old One turned to stone by a Christian saint, looking out across the sea and waiting for her husband the sea-god. Waiting for the right time for her reemergence from the land, renewed and young again. Continue reading
27) Worst misconception about this deity that you have encountered
I’m always very surprised when ‘hard’ polytheists will talk in one breath about how annoying it is when deities are conflated, and in the next will talk about ‘the Cailleach’ in a very archetypal way. People who see all gods as separate beings will routinely conflate the myths of many different areas of Ireland and Scotland about Cailleachean. Despite her (other) name, Baoi is not the same as them. There’s been cross-pollination of myths, and I don’t know exactly what that means for the deities in question. But they’re not exactly the same, by any means. Continue reading
24) A time when this deity has helped you
I wrote a whole post about being rescued from an unexpected snowstorm in Cumbria here. Bhéarra isn’t usually into the helping – she’s much more about teaching you to stand on your own two feet – but sometimes, when the situation is ironically ‘her’ enough, she laughs and helps.
25) A time when this deity has refused to help
Oh, so many times. Like I say, she’s about teaching you to stand on your own two feet. Or, in my case, to get on your own mobility scooter. :P
Based on my imbas, she’s not a deity you go to when you want help, when you want someone to intervene and take your troubles away. She sees the long view, from up on the mountain top. She knows that chaos is at the heart of nature, and that nothing would ever change or grow or be created anew without it. Crows and ants feast on dead foxes. A flooding river finds a new course. The seed breaks open and begins to grow.
Duibhne, on the other hand, helps and guides. I wrote the little story about the Lady of the Mountain and her sister, the Mother of the Tribe, illustrating this idea. I’m not someone who can sit in the sheltered embrace of a motherly god forever – but I appreciate it when I can’t be doing with the harshness of the queen of the wild for the moment.
26) How has your relationship with this deity changed over time?
She’s become ever more demanding, asking more and more of me. And I think that’s the way it should be. You don’t serve a deity by paying them lip-service and not doing the Work.
Find the rest of this blog project here.